True stories
Case study 1 - Kelly, 26
"Pat and I had been together for about three months before the violence and abuse began. In the beginning Pat would criticise the way I dressed, how I wore my hair, and even how I spoke. I didn't recognise this as abuse, I thought Pat was just trying to help me. However things gradually got worse. Pat was criticising my family and friends and did things to make it hard for me to see them." Kelly, 26
People who experience this type of abuse or violence can feel very confused and ashamed about their experiences and sometimes blame themselves. The person who is being abusive or violent towards you is to blame for their behaviour and there is nothing you can do to stop the behaviour. They must want to take responsibility for their own behaviour and stop being abusive or violent.
Case Study 2 - Casey, 34
"I realised that there was a problem when I was asked by Yoshan's teacher at school if everything was okay at home. The teacher was concerned as Yoshan had not been listening in class and had noticed that Yoshan was very aggressive towards her and the other students."
"I didn't think Yoshan had heard the way his grandfather, who lives with us, was treating me." Casey, 34
The abusive or violent person's behaviour is also teaching children inappropriate messages about abuse or violence and the way to treat people in their family, those they care for and those with a disability, illness or impairment.
Case Study 3 - Ric, 28
"My friend Sam would come around a couple of times a week to help me with my house work and sometimes do my shopping. I've been unwell for the past six months and found it hard to cope. At first Sam's help was great, however Sam started to demand that I hand over money, yelled at me and had on one occasion pushed me over. My brother John spoke to a worker who told him that I could apply for a protection order. John helped me with the forms and going to court. I got a protection order and Sam can't come around any more and hurt me." Ric, 28
People in a range of domestic relationships can seek protection under the law.
Case Study 4 - Ash, 16
"I've been going out with Tram for four months now, and everything is pretty good, except for when she flirts with the older guys in year 11. She reckons she doesn't say anything, but I've seen the way they look at her. I've told her heaps of times not to speak to other guys. I get really jealous and just snap, calling her names and yelling all the time. I have even shoved her against the wall a couple of times. I know she is scared of me, I can see it in her eyes." Ash, 16
Queensland's Domestic and Family Violence Protection Act 1989 protects people in a range of domestic relationships from experiencing further abuse and violence. Threatening someone is abusive. Intimidating someone by damaging property is abusive. Forcing someone to do something they don't want to or physically hurting someone is abusive. There is no excuse for domestic and family violence.
Last updated: 24 June 2008.